How they cleaned my carpet, stained it pink, and nearly burned down my house

Ok, it was a stellar day. I had nothing to edit, which always makes it a good day because I like editing very occasionally and only when I have to. So, instead of working, I went to the dentist to have a crown put on my molar, but not before I let in my friend the carpet cleaner. Seems my daughter is coming home from college this weekend and I have to clean up the filthy carpet and get rid of the dog hairs because she has asthma, which is another story all together.

But, I let in the carpet guy and his wife and told them that I wanted it all clean, including the throw rugs which I will save for repairs on my carpet like the pink stain from Crystal Lite and the hole that the dog ate right below my coffee table, but that's another story.

And the carpet cleaner, he's really into getting this beige carpet clean, so I leave him and his wife to do the voodoo that they do and sashayed off to the dentist, Dr. Joseph, the 24 year old dentist with a body like Superman and way too young for me, but that's another story.

And young Dr. Joseph, whom I shall call Joe from here on in, put my crown in place and actually got me out of the office in 30 minutes flat, a new all-time low for that clinic. Usually, you wait an hour, get in and wait another hour in the chair, they work on you for 30 minutes and then you wait another 30 and then when you hit about hour number three, they let you go home. But not today. I was out in 30 minutes flat.

So, I was meeting my ever-graying and slightly-balding husband for lunch but I had to go home first, which I did. I came into the family room and I looked over at the corner and the dumb carpet cleaner had pushed a box full of my writing/editing and VERY flammable material RIGHT UP AGAINST THE HEATER, WHICH WAS ON. Now, trust me, I've always had a fear of someone setting my house on fire, particularly my kids, so much so that I have convinced my oldest daughter that she'll probably one day burn down the house. But that is another story.

So, I pull the box out, which is, seriously people, ready to go up in FLAMES. And the heater is overheating in the wall, probably due to having been plugged up with flammable material. And I about choked.

But wait, it gets better. The box that was sitting in front of my heater happened to have red writing on the bottom and when that mixed with the wet carpet, it produced pink stains all over my carpet.

Which is why you should never, ever, ever have your carpet cleaned.